Why A Mind-Blowing Orgasm Is Proof of Reiki’s Truth

Posted on Aug 13, 2013 in God | 0 comments

Oh god, he’s sitting down.

I should have been ruder.  I’m attempting to get three hours of writing in before heading to the beach.  50-ish, slightly yellow teeth, blue polo t-shirt with a smear down the front, jowls puffed over prominent teeth and an air of superiority.  I answered ‘No, I don’t have one.’ to the request for a lighter.  He returned a few seconds later with a compliment and I was about to bury my head in my laptop again when…

…he told me he was a Reiki Master.

My only brush with Rieki was a few years ago.  The Pastor of our church interviewed a new convert in front of the whole congregation one evening. She gushed about how wonderful Jesus was and then, almost in the same breath, how he was magnifying her Reiki experiences.  She had increased her practice of Reiki as a result of meeting Jesus.  You could feel the air leave the auditorium as everyone sat with wide eyes wondering how the Pastor would respond.  In a wonderful show of grace, he simply confirmed that Jesus was a great guy who met us where we were at and took us one step at a time further into his truth.  Those sorts of responses are just one example of why we all respected Phil so much.

Since then, I’ve been curious.  And who better to explain it to me than a Reiki Master himself?

Swirling a half drunk chocolate milk drink he carried over from the other table, he explains that Reiki is simply energy.  The energy – called Ki – exists, it is, always has been, and it knows what we need.  Usually, we ourselves don’t know what we need but the energy knows.  When a Reiki Master lays hands on a person, this energy is transferred and set to work.  When we submit to a Reiki treatment, we are simply allowing the energy to work in our body and do the things it needs to do, bringing equilibrium to our lives.

Sounds a lot like how we used to administer the Holy Spirit.

‘Why do you believe in Reiki?’

‘Because I have had experiences that tell me it is true.’

I’m not surprised at his answer.  After a long discussion with a believer on the finer points of Christianity’s logic and evidence, it usually arrives at this statement, ‘Well I know it’s true because I’ve experienced it.’

I’ve said that statement myself, having grown up in the highly-experiential world of the Toronto Blessing movement as a child.  People literally rolled around on the ground for an hour and fell off their seat because they couldn’t control the laughter God was making them do.  My dad carried me out to the car after a church service one evening, my 9 year old body limp and my head rolling backwards as if I’d fainted.  I was ‘under the power of the Holy Spirit’ and had been so for the past hour.

What believers don’t realise is that every belief system’s converts have experiences that seem undeniable confirmation of its truth.

‘Give me an example.’

I regret this request almost immediately.  He launches into a story about a woman who received the largest orgasm of her life, sitting on a chair in the middle of a spiritual tradeshow, after he simply touched her once on the chest.

‘That’s what happens sometimes with the combination of a Reiki Master and a Tantra practitioner.’

The conversation has suddenly taken an unwelcome sexual turn.  Of course, I have my own theories that explain this woman’s orgasm which I will explain in a forthcoming blog post.  How would I have explained it years ago?  Probably devils.  We sort of lucked out if Devil’s are the ones administering orgasms.  Could explain a lot actually… 😉

After reading my palm he asks me to bring my knees out from under the table, pinches his thumb and forefinger together and places the tips on the indent of my left knee.  Then I need to close my eyes.  We sit this way for an awkward few moments.  I won’t lie, I peeked a little.

When he senses I’m about ready to move on, he asks The Question.

“Is the energy going up, down or just staying the same?’

I know this question.  It’s a trick one.  There’s only one correct response for me here and it is neither of the three options he gave.

‘What energy?‘ I ask, opening my eyes and staring him full in the face.

It’s hard to do this.  We want to go along with what someone is suggesting.  By providing me only three options with which to answer, he was attempting to bring me into a game, into ‘the Magic Circle’, where neither of us question the existence of the energy.  We just assume it exists and that I am feeling it.  The only thing left to discuss is whether it is going up, down or just staying the same.

Here are some questions from the old life I remember of the same vein…

  • How has God been blessing you this week? (Assumption: God has been blessing you)
  • What is God saying to you right now? (Assumption: God is saying something to you right now)
  • Do you feel the Holy Spirit here tonight? (Assumption: The Holy Spirit is here.  Insinuation: if you can’t feel it, you’re a dud.)

Surprise, surprise, the reason I don’t feel anything, according to my new friend the Reiki Master, is that I’m not open.

‘Okay, not a problem.  Sometimes I just sense that someone is open to it and can sense something very easily.  But obviously you’re not one of those.’ he says, leaning back in chair and pursing his fat lips a little.

It’s a trick of belief systems to make someone feel inferior for not ‘playing the game’.

A large reason I put off questioning for real for such a long time was because it was really looked down on.  Faith and blind belief was upheld.  People would say from the pulpit, ‘I don’t let my head get in the way of God speaking to my heart…’.  Then I realised that God, if there was one, had created both organs.

The truth is not afraid of my brain.  God is not afraid of my brain.

Lastly, the Reiki Master confirms the scientific validity of Reiki.  Just last year, he was called in to teach nurses how to administer Reiki treatments throughout an oncology ward.  The cancer patients on that ward recovered so wonderfully better than all the others that they now make it standard practice to teach their nurses how to administer basic Reiki.  There have been loads of scientific studies done that prove it exists and works.

This honestly astounds me.  How could the world have missed this?  Unfortunately I’m out of battery now on my laptop so I can’t google Wikipedia.

When I do, this is the first sentence of the third paragraph.

“The concept of ki underlying Reiki is speculative and there is no scientific evidence that it exists.”

Which I guess doesn’t mean it doesn’t.  But it doesn’t mean it does either.  Either way, I’m excited about the idea that Pentacostal Pastors and Reiki Masters could hold joint conferences.  Their ministry techniques are basically the same.

Maybe the new convert was onto something…

 

Bit of light reading over your coffee?